She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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