To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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