No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize