Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
