So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
