His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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