I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
