K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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