Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
