Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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