Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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