All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
