just come out here and I will go home with you...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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