All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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