I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Randomize
