i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
