okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
