how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
