i think i have herpe
just one?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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