my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
