Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
