apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
