Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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