Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize