dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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