I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
