fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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