escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
