Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize