Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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