So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
