You can't special order awesome
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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