I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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