i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it glows. i had to have it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
