Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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