I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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