These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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