we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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