now i know why i became what i already was.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
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It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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