bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
