dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize