Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
