you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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