She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I AM VODKA MAN
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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