the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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