Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
