I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize