i permit you to call me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
