And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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