I understand Curling. That high.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's never too late to be topless.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just gargled with NyQuil
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
