Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
