I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
