So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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