i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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