my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
