it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
