saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
