check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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