My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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