So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
