You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
